


I miss you, Mom.

by mishamig0



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Heartache, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 00:46:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishamig0/pseuds/mishamig0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean misses Mary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I miss you, Mom.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a conversation I heard on a bus that one time. Kinda hit me hard.
> 
> I'm sorry.

Dean paced the groggy hotel room, demolishing his seventh bottle of beer. He’s glad Sam decided to research their hunt at the library, he couldn’t stand it if he saw him like this.  
Replacing his beer with a stronger liquor, he threw the beer bottle at the wall, watching it smash into pieces. “Heh, I feel the same,” he thought. It really wasn’t his fault he felt like he did. He usually managed to keep himself composed and block the thoughts that haunted him in the dark. But today was different. He couldn’t talk to Sam about it, he had enough on his plate as it was and Cas just wouldn’t understand.

\--

Dean stood in line at the supermarket, silently cursing Sam for his love of rabbit food when he heard it.  
“How was your day, sweetie?” He heard the woman say. He looked ahead and noticed a woman and what he presumed to be her daughter, no older than fourteen, packing up the weekly shop.  
“Not bad, my classes seem pretty okay this year. You?” The young girl smiled.  
“It was great! I took Charlie to the school and afterwards, heard all about his first day at kindergarten!” They both laughed at this, and Dean couldn’t help but feel a wave of anger wash over him.  
“Can’t deny it is hard to keep up with him,” the mother said, “but I do wish he would learn to speak slower.” The queue moved forward and the mother and daughter continued their chat as they walked out of the supermarket. Dean suddenly felt empty and angry and upset all at once, so dumped his items at the side. Sam could buy them if he really needed them.

\--

“Fuck you!” Dean shouted into the empty motel room. “What did we do to deserve this?! We were normal! We were…we were happy! And you too it from us! Fuck. You!” Dean keeled over onto his hands and knees, breathing heavily. “We were so happy.” He heard himself whisper.  
“Dean?”  
Dean stilled on the ground and blinked rapidly, wishing the tears away. “Uh, hey, Cas,” he stood up and turned to the angel, smiling. “What can we do for you? Sam isn’t here but he shouldn’t be to-”  
“Dean, what’s wrong?” The angels face was filled with worry and confusion.  
“Nothing, just having a drink,” Dean grinned, getting to his feet, “want one?” He began walking to the fridge.  
“Sit down, Dean,” Castiel ordered.  
“Nah, it’s fine. I really need a-” he began.  
“Dean. Sit. Down.” Dean found it difficult to ignore that tone of voice, and made his way to the bed. Cas followed. “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”  
“Nothing, Cas, really,” Dean replied.  
“Dean, you were literally shouting at us, you have caused concern in Heaven and due to our…bond, it seemed only right that I come and investigate.” Castiel narrowed his eyes, focusing far too intensely on Dean’s face.  
“It’s not important-”  
“Yes, it is.” Cas replied quickly. Dean raised his eyebrows but continued.  
“I just miss my Mom, okay? I saw a woman and her daughter in the supermarket today and I just…I remembered that I’m never gonna go shopping with her, or ask her how her day was, or Sam’s reaction to kindergarten and…and I never realised how much I’d missed the little things about her being around, you know? So yeah, it doesn’t matter, it’s not important.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck, hating himself for being so…honest.  
“Dean Winchester, you listen to me. I pulled you out of Hell and I put you together again. Everything about you is important. From your memories, to your family, from your terrible jokes, even to your mullet-rock taste-”  
“Did Sam teach you that phrase?” Dean interrupted.  
“Perhaps. But my point is, your mother was a great deal of importance to you. Only you would think _missing her_ would be unnecessary. I know how much you cared for her and vice versa. You’re allowed to break down sometimes.”  
The sincerity in the angels voice made Dean a bit uncomfortable but…he also felt reassured. He’d always thought it was his job to be the man, the soldier, the fighter. But now Cas had put it into such words…he didn’t know what to think.  
“Dean? Are you okay?” The angel tilted his head, softening his gaze.  
“Yeah, I uh, I think I should take a nap.” He replied, feeling the alcohol turn his head.  
“I understand.” Castiel said as he watched Dean slip from his tshirt and jeans and slip under the duvet. “Well, if you need anything…”  
“Stay.” Both angel and hunter were surprised by the sudden outburst. Castiel’s eyes widened and Dean stuttered. “I mean, if you’re busy, I get it. I just thought it’d be good to have the company and stuff…” He rambled on.  
“Of course, Dean.” Cas shifted in his place before slipping off his trench coat and resting it on a chair. He sat down and twiddled his thumbs.  
“Cas, I wanted company, not to be stared at.” Dean pulled back the duvet, offering a man-sized space to Cas.  
“Dean, you’re under the influence, I wouldn’t want you to-” Castiel began.  
“Cas, I’m a bit tipsy, I’ll remember.” Dean sighed and looked the angel in the eyes. “Please?”  
And with that, Cas was a goner. He had always known they shared a more profound bond than he did with Sam, but he always had a feeling that it lay deeper than platonic friendship. If only Dean knew. He slipped his tie off and undone a few buttons before peeling off his slacks and sliding in beside Dean. Dean’s head rested in between Cas’ neck and shoulder blade as he mumbled.  
“How do you always know exactly what to say?”  
“I know you better than you think I do, Dean,” Cas replied. Dean mumbled in agreement.  
Cas didn’t know what had come over him, but he leaned down and rested a kiss atop Dean’s head. He stilled and regretted the action immediately as he watched Dean look up to face him.  
However, Dean did nothing more than reach up and peck Castiel on the lips before swinging his arm over Castiel’s stomach, entwining their fingers.  
“Thanks, Cas,” Dean sighed before closing his eyes.  
“My pleasure, Dean,” Castiel admitted as he smiled down at the man. Maybe Dean Winchester could be happy after all, he thought. “I just hope it’s with me,” he whispered.

\--

Sam returned to motel a few hours later to find his brother fast asleep in bed with an angel. Surprised was not the word he would use.  
“Holy shit,” he gasped, feet stuck to the ground.  
Dean opened his eyes and stared at his brother. “What?”  
Sam nodded towards Castiel, whose eyes were mere slits at the reaction to new light.  
“Hello, Sam,” he said.  
“Uh, hi. What…what’s going on?” Sam felt like an idiot. But what could they expect?! He had just walked in on his apparently straight brother (not that Sam knew different, but Dean was stubborn and a bit of an idiot when it comes to romantic relations)… _snuggling with their male angel._  
Dean looked at Cas before shrugging at Sam, noting their hands were still clasped together. “No idea, but hey, you’re happy for me, right?” Dean looked at his brother worriedly.  
“Y-yeah, of course. It’s just…” Sam looked at them both before grinning, “it’s about time!”  
Cas threw a pillow at Sam hitting him square in the face, rejoicing as Dean full-on laughed and grinned himself. Sam ruffled his hair and glared at them both. “You’re acting like him already! Jerks.”  
“Bitch.” Dean and Cas said in unison. Sam’s eyes widened and Dean’s mouth hung open as they both stared at Cas.  
“…I listen.” Cas said, worried he’d done something wrong.  
Dean smiled his private smile and sighed. “Don’t ever change, Cas.”  
Sam just grumbled, “I’m getting my own room!” He called before slamming the door behind him.  
Dean looked at Cas and grinned. “Well, we have this whole room to ourselves…” Was all that was said before Dean jumped on his lovers lap and laughed like a teenager.

‘Yes,’ Castiel thought, ‘Dean Winchester _is_ capable of happiness. Certainly with me.’


End file.
